In a human hand there are 27 bones. Some apes have more. A gorilla has 32, five in each thumb. A human has 27. If you break an arm or a leg, the bone grows back together by calcification. It will be stronger than before. If you break a bone in your hand, it will never recover completely. Before every fight, you’ll think. In each slap, you’ll think. You’ll be careful. But at some point the pain will come back. Like needles. Like glass splinters.
it is everyones favourite film about a syrup addicted bear that is right it is winnie the poo and his cousin piglet from the hit family film that is called winnie the poo and the chamber of syrup. if you havent seen winnie the poo and the chamber of syrup before then you might as well just be blind or deaf or both because you are missing out on a action packed adventure that will haunt you for the rest of your life and my best bit in the whole of the film is when winnie the poo is standing outside of his college in his red coloured crop top with his traditional no trousers on and he is making loads of people laugh by sucking syrup off the top of a teachers car and then gargling with it to the theme tune of mtvs sweet sixteen and all of his friends was saying that it was so funny and his friend ross even said that it was probably one of the best things that he has seen in about half a year and then tigger who is the main idiot at the college was going around telling everyone that he is going to punch winnie the poo in the back of his head after college when he is not looking because he hates him so much but it was so obvious that he is just jealous of winnie the poo for getting all of the attention from everyone and then after college tigger goes to punch him but winnie the poo senses his presence and he instantly turns around and slices tiggers spine with a bit of plastic that he found next to a fence and then winnie the poo goes on top of tigger on the ground and he does a massive screaming laugh right in tiggers face that sounded like a train full of bees smashing into a school and then before tigger could even say why cant i move my legs winnie the poo had completely vanished and then when it was at night time winnie the poo goes over to piglets house and he says for piglet to give him all of the syrup that he has got and piglet says you cant have it because my wife is pregnant and it is all that she can eat right now and winnie the poo says pregnant shmegnant i dont give a flying hell if she is pregnant or if she is just fat i just want to have all of your delicious golden bee juice inside of myself and then he slowly walks over to piglet and he kisses him on his forehead and he says my sweet cousin in a really light voice and then he looks at him for about 5 seconds and he does a half smile and then he slaps him right across his face and he bends forward and he licks piglets face where he was just slapped and he says give me your bee syrup now you salmon coloured dwarf and piglet says you need help mate you have got a serious syrup problem and winnie the poo says shut up no i do not and piglet says eh you do realise the reason everyone calls you winnie the poo is because you actually stink of poo because you never wash because all that you do is drink bee syrup all day and tigger said he actually saw you eating your own poo out of a napkin in the college car park as well and then winnie the poo just grabs the jar of syrup out of piglets pale pink palms and he runs out of the house and as he is running away he screams jumanji and then right at the end of the film there is a shot of winnie the poo sitting in the woods looking at a photograph of him and christopher robin in italy next to the eiffel tower and the camera goes really close up on winnie the poos face and he starts laughing and loads of bees fly out of his mouth and it lasts for about 5 minutes and then the screen just goes completely black and writing comes up that says winnie the poo hasnt been seen for nearly 2 and a half years and then a lightning bolt goes across the screen and it smashes the writing up into loads of little pieces and then the film just ends really suddenly and it really is one of the most action packed films that has ever been made about syrup and if you have children of your very own or if you can find a child just for a day then you should definitely have a watch of it with them when it is the summer holidays because trust me you will not regret it not even a slice. Chris (Simpsons artist) xox
I like it when clothes have a story and I like finding things that move me somehow but I think it’s very important to not make fashion too much of a thing in your life. It’s a tool to show who you are to the world but only if you’re privileged enough to to be able to worry about it.
- Clémence Poésy